A GAME OF THRONES: DREAMS OF SPRING

Men always want one thing from me- to plant their seed and pin me down. That is until I met my husband. I remember a brisk day seven years ago, bracing the Winds of Winter, walking hand in hand with my beloved. We walked along the stinking river bed that runs with stale water during California's rainy years. We were missing Europe, and I joked that if we closed our eyes, our walk was reminiscent of our romantic strolls along the Seine. That spring we had just moved in together and were discussing marriage. These relationship next-steps garnered the drab, plagiaristic questions asked of every happy couple: When are you having children? 

Khaleesi Pro Tip: Find yourself a handsome Bear to help you tame your dragons.

A Feast for Crows:

This Feast for Crows ignored the two children I bore and brought into this relationship. People laughed condescendingly in response. Outside observers were confident we wanted to seal our relationship with a child of our own. As if they just couldn’t fathom a couple satisfied with a vibrant, lusty sexual intimacy without a living, breathing result. We were a lab experiment like all other committed, heterosexual couples. Peer reviewed, yes, but lacking empirical data. 

As we continued along the fetid, brown water that flows behind our home, we passed a fertility clinic. Barrett put his hand on my flat (ish) stomach and said, maybe I should put a baby in your belly. (Forgive the crass language. This was a private conversation betwixt lovers knee deep into their Game of Thrones Era.) I glanced at him, stunned by his comment, and I was confronted with two questions:

• Did I misjudge my paramour’s true desires?

• And furthermore, did I love him enough to give him a child, or did I love myself more?

As we walked in silence, I savored a moment to imagine him. I always picture our child as a son. Thinking of his tan skin, shocking red hair, his unparalleled intelligence. I have faith he would possess Barrett’s kind disposition, as I am already the Mother of two Dragons. He wins science awards and spelling tests and builds campfires until they roar, he treks into the unknown simply to marvel at the stars- just like his daddy. But at that moment Barrett squeezed my hand and smiled. We have two children, he said. And I love them as my own.

A fact I still struggle to fathom. Even as I see evidence each and every day.

Khaleesi Pro Tip: True Love is built on friendship.

We walked on, the vile river streaming past us. Barrett spoke quickly, building castles in the cloudy sky. He had just been accepted to University of California, Irvine as a PhD Candidate in Toxicology. He gripped my hand tighter and met my gaze in that piercing way which always manages to unclose me. He said, what if education were our children? I am content with a PhD as our child. 

Our strapping doctorate arrived last spring, and I couldn’t be prouder of Barrett's contribution to science. The lasting impact of his work is a legacy worthy of parental pride. I am convinced the White Walker we battle as women is choosing ourselves. But I remain steadfast that despite the cost, and the cost is great, it is a woman’s right. 

A Dream of Spring Continues:

This past April, Barrett and I just celebrated our sixth wedding anniversary. Our world has changed irrevocably in the last six years, but one thing remains steadfast: our unwavering commitment to grow alongside each other and share the Iron Throne. This spring, I was accepted to an MFA program in Creative Writing in Brooklyn, New York. I am surprised and delighted to sire another academic offspring with my king. I can hear our daughter's voice now: fierce and articulate and brave. Another dragon… I can’t wait to see her fly. 

Read here as I blog our journey from one tip of the realm to the other. I'll be posting a new series of travel diaries this summer every other Thursday as we move our clan from Orange County California to Brooklyn, New York. #Champagnethursdays

P.S. If you're in NYC, check out the new Met exhibit: Indian Skies